Why “I’m Fine” is the Biggest Lie We Tell Ourselves (and What to Do Instead)

If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me she was “fine,” I’d be sipping coconut water on a private island right now. Let’s face it: “I’m fine” is code for, “I’m one spilled coffee away from a meltdown.”

As women, we’ve mastered the art of putting on a brave face—because, well, someone has to keep it together, right? But here’s a groundbreaking truth: You don’t have to be “fine” all the time. In fact, pretending to be fine is often what keeps us from being truly happy.

Through years of working with women (and occasionally battling my inner drama queen), I’ve learned that emotional freedom begins with honesty—first with yourself, and then with others. So, how do we break free from the “I’m fine” trap? Let’s dive in with a bit of humor and a lot of heart.

1. Stop Treating Yourself Like a Wi-Fi Router

You are not a device that needs to keep running 24/7. Newsflash: even routers need a reboot sometimes!

When was the last time you paused to check in with yourself? No, I don’t mean the “scroll-through-Instagram-while-ignoring-your-thoughts” kind of pause. I mean a real pause—where you ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?”

Take 10 minutes each day to unplug from the chaos and plug into yourself. Whether it’s deep breathing, journaling, or dancing like no one’s watching (because honestly, who is?), this tiny reboot can work wonders.

2. Ditch the “Superwoman” Cape (It’s Overrated Anyway)

Don’t get me wrong—I love a good superhero movie. But trying to be Superwoman in real life? Exhausting.

There’s no award for doing it all and burning out in the process. Instead of saying yes to everything, practice saying no—politely, of course, unless the situation involves someone asking if you’d like dessert (always say yes to dessert).

Remember, boundaries are like sunscreen: They protect you from unnecessary burns. Use them liberally.

3. Laugh at Your Own Drama

Have you ever had a full-blown meltdown over something ridiculous, like a slow internet connection? (Guilty.) Sometimes, the best way to lighten your emotional load is to find the humor in it.

I once cried because I couldn’t find matching socks. Looking back, I realize the socks weren’t the problem—my stress levels were. So, I laughed about it later, paired two wildly different socks, and declared myself a trendsetter.

Life doesn’t always have to be so serious. A little laughter can turn your worst days into funny stories for the future.

4. Build a “Dream Team” of Support

Behind every woman who feels emotionally balanced is a squad of people who’ve got her back. Whether it’s your best friend, a therapist, or your mom who always knows when something’s off, lean on your people.

If asking for help feels awkward, remember this: Even Beyoncé has a team. You are not Beyoncé (yet), but you deserve support, too.

Final Thoughts: Be Fine with Not Being Fine

Here’s the deal: Being honest about your feelings doesn’t make you weak. It makes you real. So, the next time someone asks how you’re doing, skip the “I’m fine” and try something closer to the truth.

You might just find that the world won’t crumble if you admit you’re having a rough day—and you’ll feel a lot lighter for it.

As women, we’re often the glue holding things together. But let’s not forget to hold space for ourselves, too. After all, the strongest glue needs time to set.